Saturday, 27 June 2015

Happiness101

All I have been saying recently is "I don't know".
I don't know, I really don't know anymore.
I think maybe I do know, but I'm in denial.
Being vulnerable has never been my strongest suit, and I try to keep it to myself.

But the events that have transpired have never made me felt more naked.
Felt more vulnerable, ashamed, indignant, useless, and most of all, broken.
I can have all the words in the world at my fingertips but what I'm feeling cannot even be put into words.
I don't know anymore.
I don't know how strong I am, nor do I know how broken I have become.
I don't know how much of a mess I am, and I don't know how much hate I can contain.


For every person that has broken me, I wished for someone else.
Every. Damn. Time.
But for the first time, I don't want anyone else.(lol so mature, being 21 has taught me so many things that I wouldn't have known now)
I just want the pain to go away.

I have mentioned sporadically, that I will always try to be grateful.
Right now, I am trying as fucking hard as I can.

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